Stop with Why.


Don't ask why.

Don't ask the reasoning behind.

Don't ask to justify.

You won't get a real answer. All you'll get is a personal defense of a position, with a heavy load of feelings.

It'll feel like an attack to the other one. Even when you have the best intentions.

Start with "What" or "How"

"What made you get to this decision / process / move..."

"How did you come up to..."

These 2 words take off the load of judgement over the question, and detach the person from the behavior.

And with that, you'll be one step closer to better understanding Why.

Rod Aparicio

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How do you get to the 4 questions to figure out where you are in the mind of your prospect? With an empty mind. Without previous judgement, Without a solution. Without being in solution-mode (ready to fix the problem on the spot). You go in blind, as in a blind-date. To listen. To see if there's a fit. To understand if/how you can help. To say No when it feels like a No. That's your gift: knowing you're in control. To help.

To have advantage in a sales conversation. you'd wanna ask 4 things: What's the new status in the future when everything's going amazing. What's the reason behind the specific solution they're after. What's the urgency of doing it NOW, and not in a year. What's the reason for them to be even talking to you. Getting the answers to these questions will let you know where you stand —in the mind of your decision-maker, in the process, and compared to the alternatives.

To do this, you need to stop thinking inwards. It's got nothing to do with your costs, your efforts, with how much sacrifice you put into. It has nothing to do with how much you think it's worth. It's got nothing to do with your pocket. It's all about your customers. About their situations. What they value. And with their pockets. If it's worth to them, they'll find the way. And it's them who define what expensive is. Not you. :)